Reworked: “Unzipped”

I know I have been posting a lot of rewrites, but editing poetry is something that I continue to struggle with (and likely always will). It helps make me feel like I’m making progress through my edits when I put up the edited version on here. This is the next draft of the poem previously titled “Unzipped” – although now I think it needs a new title.

Unzipped

Watch her unring the shower curtain
bitter blood taste curling
like fingers beneath the door.

Watch her bend over his body
the same shade as bleached
bathtub. Bits of gray in his hair
like steel wool.

Watch her drag the shower mat
away from his unzipped arms,
rub at the stains in the sink.

Watch her slide her shoulder blades
to the floor to share his view:

Mold yellow ceiling, blotches of water
damage peeking through plaster

like infection, last week’s Comet
drifting out the open vent,
powdering her nose.

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